What this chapter should be called: Bella wuz here
Edward creep-o-meter: 5
* Here’s the next chapter a little early to make up for stiffing you last week. *
Alright, so we’re back to your regularly scheduled pudding for this week. (Sorry. Rhyming everything really is fucking hard.) Bella is getting dressed (thrilling, huh?) and trying very hard not to think about marriage.
She is no longer wearing her engagement ring because of this. Or maybe the ring is just impossible to detect with the naked eye.
“Though I’d given back the hand-me-down ring as soon as I could do it without hurting his feelings, my left hand felt heavier, like it was still in place, just invisible.”
Pesky invisible rings. Those things are never worth the money. I’ve bought, like, three, and they keep getting lost in the pool.
“This shouldn’t bother me, I reasoned. It was no big thing — a road trip to Vegas. I would go one better than old jeans — I would wear old sweats. The ceremony certainly couldn’t take very long; no more than fifteen minutes at the most, right? So I could handle that.”
Bella reminds us for the 15th time that weddings are really just not her cup of tea, so she’ll just have a shotgun wedding in Vegas. That way, she can wear her sweatpants with words on the ass, and when the Justice of Peace tells them to kiss, they can just fist-bump instead. Also, she’ll probably ditch her shirt, because that’s just too formal. She’s leaning towards a bikini top, or maybe just some tasteful pasties. Good Lord. As we all know, this whole marriage conundrum is entirely Bella’s self-created problem, so I don’t feel to bad for her. (+1 Bitch)