Posts Tagged ‘Quil is a pedophile’

What Bella would call this chapter: Crepusculent Infirmity
Fucks I give: And a single fuck was given

Note: There will probably not be a review next week. I’m heading out of town tomorrow, and unless some kind of miracle happens, there won’t be time for me to write a new post.
Whoa! Out of absolutely nowhere, Bella has stopped narrating this book! Yes, this section of the book is being narrated by Jacob, which is awesome for a few reasons. For one, we don’t have to pretend to care about Sparklepeen’s marbley biceps anymore, nor do we have to hear Bella yap about her miserable life. Plus, the chapter titles are fucking awesome. So, as you may have noticed, I’m changing the way I rename chapters for this particular section.

The downside of this sudden switch in narration is that we now have to pretend to care about how awesome Bella is and hear Jacob yap (howl?) about his miserable life. Poop. still, I suppose I would rather listen to him than Bella. Onward!


“Jeez, Paul, don’t you freaking have a home of your own?” Paul, lounging across my whole couch, watching some stupid baseball game on my crappy TV, just grinned at me and then—real slow—he lifted one Dorito from the bag in his lap and wedged it into his mouth in one piece.”


In usual Twilight fashion, the section kicks off with a tiny whimper. Jacob is hanging out with Paul. Damn, I forgot this guy even existed, it’s been so long since the wolves were mentioned. Oh and there are some new wolves in the pack, too. I don’t know their names so let’s just call them Walrus and Mike 2.