What this chapter should be called: New pain in the ass
Fucks I give: -3
I think it really says a lot about this chapter that the first page is spent on describing the beauty of dust.
Other than that, Bella is a shitty mother. Like, really terrible. She is so obsessed with her newfound beauty that it takes her five pages to even think about her daughter, who gets literally five sentences of mentioning. It’s like Renesmee is a new iPod rather than a baby. Bella would rather brush her hair and gaze into the mirror and make out with boys than worry about her daughter.
But back to that dust thing.
“I could distinguish the individual grains in the dark wood ceiling above. In front of it, I could see the dust motes in the air, the sides the light touched, and the dark sides, distinct and separate. They spun like little planets, moving around each other in a celestial dance. The dust was so beautiful that I inhaled in shock; the air whistled down my throat, swirling the motes into a vortex.”
Bella tries breathing, only to discover that she doesn’t really need to breathe, but it feel good so she does it anyway. She can hear rap music from the highway and smell the breath of everyone around her. Of course, it’s the most fantastic smell ever.
“I heard the sound of the others, breathing again now that I did. Their breath mixed with the scent that was something just off honey and lilac and sunshine, bringing new flavors. Cinnamon, hyacinth, pear, seawater, rising bread, pine, vanilla, leather, apple, moss, lavender, chocolate.… I traded a dozen different comparisons in my mind, but none of them fit exactly. So sweet and pleasant.”
If the rest of the book is narrated like this, I’m going to have to kill myself. (+1 Thesaurus Rape) Bella realizes that someone is holding her hand, but it’s the wrong temperature to be a vampire. Duh, Bella, you’re ice-cold now too. She does this cool backflip thing off the table, crouching against the wall in 1/16 of a second, proving that reality and all its trappings have no place in Meyerland. (+1 Stupidity)