What this chapter should be called: Somehow, I think I can resist
Fucks I give: -1
Chapters left: 9
If there’s one thing that is consistent throughout all these books, it’s Bella’s ability to worry about things for twenty pages. The girl could release her own self-help book called, “How to Worry About Things In 20-Page Increments: For Home or Office.” For instance, if you’re out of cheese, you can write twenty pages on what would happen if you never ate cheese again. It wouldn’t fix your problem, but at least you could be hip and sassy like Bella Swan-Cullen, the superstar of 21st century literature.
But maybe I’m being mean. Bella does have a good reason to worry, after all. The Volturi are coming to kill her and her family in less than a month for no good reason. I’d probably worry a bit too. She should continue her 20-page worry-a-thons. It’s just like the time in Raiders of the Lost Ark when Indiana Jones spent the entire movie saying, “Gosh. I sure hope the bad guys don’t get the Ark. That would be awful. All the pain and suffering…I just don’t know if I could handle that. I better make love.” (+1 Stupidity)