Posts Tagged ‘How ironic’

What this chapter should be called: Let’s talk about feelings, Part 2

Edward creep-o-meter: 5


Expect another short review, because this chapter is just more talk about feelings and honestly could have been three pages stuck on the back of last chapter.

Bella and Jacob meander down the beach, Bella babbling non-stop to avoid a dreaded awkward silence. Eventually, she gets around to asking about Quil, which was a bit of a touchy subject last book. But everything’s okay now, and Quil is now a full-fledged werebearwolf.


“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. To my surprise, Jacob snorted. “Don’t say that to him .”


Turns out Quil is jazzed to be a werewolf. Finally, someone in this book who doesn’t mope about having superpowers! While Edward is bitching about telepathy and sparkling, Quil is already hollowing out a Wolf-Den under his garage and buying spandex. (+1 Stupidity)

Jacob elaborates that most of the Pack is really pretty happy about their powers.


“Honestly . . . most of them do,” Jacob admitted slowly. “There are definitely good sides to this — the speed, the freedom, the strength . . . the sense of — of family . . . . Sam and I are the only ones who ever felt really bitter. And Sam got past that a long time ago. So I’m the crybaby now.” Jacob laughed at himself.”


Bella asks what Sam’s deal is, anyway. Apparently, there is some sordid “Real Housewives” drama surrounding his family. Bella asks Jacob to tell her the story, because she is in no hurry to get back to Eddie dearest, being afraid of what he’ll say. Yikes. (+1 Red Flag)



What this chapter should be called: Are we there yet?

Bella like-o-meter: 2


This chapter has its ups and downs. The good part is that, for once, something is actually happening. The bad part is that it’s so unbelievably stupid.

The beginning of this chapter is actually kind of boring, despite the ~intense~ context. Alice and Bella make their flight with seconds to spare, and Bella bounces up and down in her seat, kind of like that annoying 5 year-old that always seems to end up behind you on your business trips. They lift off, and Alice makes a phone call .


“Alice lifted the phone on the back of the seat in front of her before we’d stopped climbing, turning her back on the stewardess who eyed her with disapproval. Something about my expression stopped the stewardess from coming over to protest.”


My first thought was, “WTF, the phone on the back of the seat? Do those even exist?” Then I did a quick Google search and found out that some planes do indeed have phones connected to the first class seats. How likely is it that Bella and Alice are flying in one of these planes? Not so great. Then again, I only fly less shitty coach, so what do I know? I’ll hold off on the stupidity point for that one. However, I really doubt that Alice and Bella would have been able to get 2 first class seats, right next to each other, on a last-minute basis. That shit sells out fast. (+1 Stupidity)