What this chapter should be called: Yaaay more abuse!
Bella like-o-meter: 3
THIS CHAPTER IS HORRIBLY BAD, AND STEPHENIE MEYER SHOULD FEEL BAD, LIKE SHE’S JUST BRUTALLY RAVAGED A MILLION NEWBORN PUREBRED LABRADOR PUPPIES. THAT’S HOW BAD THIS CHAPTER IS.
So, surprise, surprise, since there’s a festival going on, traffic in Volterra is super hellish. Since Bella can’t do anything useful in this situation, she settles for moaning Alice’s name with a sense of urgency.
“Alice,” I moaned. The clock on the dash seemed to be speeding up. “It’s the only way in,” she tried soothe me.”
The fanfic practically writes itself. (+1 Stupidity)
To summarize the next few paragraphs in the Meyer-tongue, some stuff happens, the traffic doesn’t move, Alice does some stuff, and we still can’t get into the city.
“Alice,” I whispered urgently. “I know,” she said. Her face was chiseled from ice.”
Please tell me that someone’s writing these down.