What Bella would call this chapter: Delicate Fragility
Fucks given: *facepalm*
This chapter is really frustrating for a variety of reasons. To start things off, we have Bella insisting that everything will be okay because she feels “magical.” I am not even joking. She even had a dream about the child, so that just means everything is gonna be okay, right?
No, Bella. No. You are so wrong.
“I felt like—like I don’t know what. Like this wasn’t real. Like I was in some Goth version of a bad sitcom. Instead of being the A/V dweeb about to ask the head cheerleader to the prom, I was the finished-second-place werewolf about to ask the vampire’s wife to shack up and procreate. Nice.”
Jacob is heading in to this surely awkward conversation with the expectation that Bella will not listen to him. Given how stupid Bella is, I’m gonna go ahead and agree. Edward asks all the vamps to clear out in order to give Jake some privacy. Rosalie doesn’t like this, even going so far to say “over my pile of ashes,” which is both painful and funny because HARDY HAR HAR vampires burn to death geddit? (+1 Thesaurus Rape)