So, I took a Mary-Sue test regarding Bella.

Posted: December 9, 2011 in Other crap
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Once again, my pesky life has gotten in the way of my reviews. I couldn’t justify taking a huge, boring infodump on you, or just not updating at all, so here’s something short and sweet to tide you over until next time. I know there are Twitards to whom Bella is the very definition of a well-rounded character. Bullshit, I say. In an attempt to prove Bella’s utter Mary-Sueness. (For those of you who aren’t familiar with the nebulous Mary-Sue, I recommend reading this first.) I took this online test, placing myself in Meyer’s shoes. (It’s not as scary as it sounds.) The test I took was the Original Fiction Mary-Sue Litmus test, with the point scale being such:

0-10: The Anti-Sue

11-20: The Non-Sue

21-35: The Borderline Sue

36-55: The Mary Sue

56-70: The Über Sue

71 or more: The Super Sue

You wanna know what I got?

94.

That’s right. Bella is beyond  Super Sue status. I even went back and did it again just to make sure I didn’t mess it up. Here’s the breakdown explaining my results. You don’t like them? Either 1. Take the test yourself and tell me your score or 2. Deal with it.

 

Part 1: The Name

I checked yes for:

1. Does the character have a name you really, really like?

Since Bella’s name quite literally means “beautiful swan” I’m going to have to go with yes on this one.

2. Does the character’s name describe her/his personality?

Bella is as beautiful as her name, she just is somehow oblivious to it. (Another common trait amongst Mary-Sues.)

 

Part 2: Appearance

I checked yes for:

1. Is the character highly attractive without having to work at it?

Yeah, she only had Nothing-Wrong-With-Mike, Eric, Tyler, Sparklepeen, and Wolfballs tripping over themselves for a spot in line.

2. Are one or more other characters attracted to her/him?

NO SHIT, SHERLOCK.

3. Even though they are involved with someone else?

I guess we could say that Mike is still attracted to Bella even when he’s with Jessica, so yeah.

4. Is an otherwise chaste or stoic character immediately attracted to her/him?

You’re kidding me, right? *coughDazzleNutscough*

5. Does the character dress in a manner you find particularly attractive, sexy, or cool?

More accurately, Bella dresses how Meyer would were she a skinny teen again. So yes.

 

Part 3: Character

I checked yes for:

1. Is the character of above average intelligence?

It was only hammered into our skulls how smart Bella was about a few hundred times.

2. Does the character have an angsty childhood, or an angsty past?

Uh, yeah.

3. And does she/he angst about it during the story?

Only all the time.

4. Does the character have angst in the present?

Check, check, and check.

5. Was the character born/raised in poverty?

Naw, those kindergarten teachers are totes loaded.

6. Does the character consider her/his beauty/talent/skill/etc. a curse?

OMG ALL THESE BOIYZ ARE ATTRACTEDD TO ME HOW AWFUL WAAAAH!

7. Does the character collect things you consider intellectual or cultured?

Meyer’s already admitted Bella likes the things she does because Meyer thought they were classy.

8. Has the character ever fairly lost in any kind of duel, fight, or competition against someone of equal or lesser ability, where the winner was not the character’s rival?

I don’t think Super-Sue is capable of losing fights, period.

9. Does the character “just know things”?

Like completely guessing Sparklepeen’s power when it had never been mentioned before, then correctly guessing a very specific limitation to said power with no background knowledge? Doesn’t sound like Bella at all.

10. Does the character have a physical “flaw” that does not actually detract from her/his beauty (e.g. lips too full, white strip in hair, missing one toe, etc.)?

Let’s see: Skin too pale, eyes too brown, hair to shiny, scent too good…am I missing any?

11. Does the character remain in a committed relationship for the full duration of your story?

A commited, albeit abusive one, yes.

12. Does the character have a child or children for the greater part of your story?

Little miss demon spawn in book 4.

13. Does the character manage to avoid learning from major mistakes?

Do you even have to ask?

14. Does the character have very little or no empathy for other people?

If your name isn’t Edward, you may as well be dog shit.

 

Part 4: Work and Play

I checked yes for:

1. Does the character have any particular skill at which she/he the best or among the best?

Her super sparkle power is apparently TEH BEST EVARR!

2. And is she/he widely known for this skill?

Aforementioned super sparkle power, yes.

3. Does the character hold your job?

I can consider housewife a job, right?

4. Does the character hold your dream job?

Gorgeous millionaire housewife sounds about right for Meyer’s dream job.

5. Does the character possesses the following skills, with or without the aid of charms, spells, etc.):

a. Prophecy

Bella’s oddly plot-handy dreams, yes.

b. Invulnerability

When she becomes a Sparklepire, yes.

c. Power of seduction

I’ve heard she seduces a guy into making her some fake ID’s.

d. The ability to shrug off minor wounds

Part of the super sparkle power package.

e. The ability to kill people with her/his bare hands

Also part of the super sparkle power package

f. Super strength or speed

Ditto.

6. Does the character share more than one of your hobbies or interests?

Bella likes listening to classical music and reading romance novels, so does Meyer. What a coinkydink.

7. Does the character have the same taste in music as you have?

Debussy, anyone?

8.
 Does the character have the same religious or spiritual beliefs as you?

Bella parrots some common Mormon beliefs, and we’ll leave it at that because I’d rather not go into that particularly touchy subject.

 

Part 5: Immortals

I checked yes for:

1. Is the character a vampire?

At the end, yes.

2. Is the character exceptionally powerful, even by the standards of her/his race?

Bella IS TEH STRONGEST NEVAR 4GET!

3. Is the character exceptionally beautiful, even by the standards of her/his race?

I’ve heard descriptions of her new face get more screentime than Edward’s.

 

Part 6: High School

I checked yes for:

1. Is the character bullied for her/his sexual orientation, skin color, intelligence, poverty/wealth, looks, clothes, background, etc.?

Isn’t that why Lauren hangs around?

2. Is it because the bullies are jealous?

Pretty much.

3. Do the bullies eventually see the error of their ways, or else receive some form of retribution?

What did happen to Lauren’s hair?

 

Part 7: The Plot

I checked yes for:

1. Has everyone significant heard of the character?

In the movie, Bella’s arrival makes front page news on the school’s paper. Snort.

2. Do all of the important characters end up liking/respecting/fearing her/him?

Except for Lauren, and we all know what happened to her.

3. Did they all like/respect/fear her/him from the beginning?

Front page news, people.

4. Does the character fall in (reciprocated) love with, or have sex with, a character you would like to fall in love with or have sex with?

Since Edward is Meyer’s wet dream, and Bella is Meyer, yes.

5. Does the character die in her/his beloved’s arms?

After Bella’s C-section by teeth, she dies in Edward’s arms – then he chews on her a few times and she comes back.

 

Part 8: Your Character and You.

I checked yes for:

1. Did you base the character on your favorite previously existing character or person?

Meyer’s stated that Bella was influenced by characters in Jane Austen novels.

2. Is the character someone you would want to be friends with, assuming she/he would be receptive to friendship with you?

I think this one’s pretty safe to assume.

3. Would you be very surprised if someone did not like the character?

There was some interview or something where Meyer pretty much said that Bella was the most amazing likeable character in the history of characters.

4. Do you take any negative feedback about the character as a personal affront?

Meyer is incredibly notorious for throwing hissy fits when people criticize her characters.

5. Is the character a mouthpiece for your own beliefs or views?

Already gone into this.

6. Do you ever wish you could be like the character?

I’m almost certain Meyer wishes she was Bella.

 

Maybe in a while, I’ll take this test for Edward. I think I’ll be able to break 100.

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Comments
  1. blessed8be says:

    That is just uber-scary. Thanks for the test though. I took it to determine the status of two characters that I’m writing and I scored below ten. YAY! =D

    I think you’ll break way past 100 with Edward [how many points is it per question?]

  2. william says:

    I tried it for Edward and I got 162. I wasn’t conservative but holy Jesus, wtf?

  3. Elizabeth says:

    That is CRAZY. I did it for one of my own characters, and got a 19 (:

  4. TacoMagic says:

    Oh! Thanks for the link! I was working on a Mary Sue test of my own, but now I don’t have to re-invent the wheel!

    Finally something to test some of the Sues in my upcoming riffs!

  5. TacoMagic says:

    Sorry kids, buy Harry Potter is sporting a 41 on that test when scoring very conservatively.

    Scoring on a more liberal pass gave a score of 104.

    • Kate says:

      The difference between Harry and, say, Edward is that Harry has some actual depth. For example, Harry is awesome at Quidditch. But he enjoys it because it reminds him of his dad, and he likes working with his teammates. Edward is awesome at the piano, and he likes it because…I really don’t know why. It just serves to make him look more awesome.

      • TacoMagic says:

        Oh, I don’t deny that Harry is a better character than Edward. But the bar is really low there; I’m pretty sure that most characters are better than Edward.

        I just don’t think Harry is as deep or complex a character as some paint him to be, and he suffers from the “angst painted as depth” problem in the later books, though JK doesn’t paint the angst in as positive a light as Meyer does.

        That’s mostly to be expected because the series started as books for rather young folks. Those of the younger persuasion identify more closely with the Mary Sue character: such as Encyclopedia Brown, Nancy Drew, Martin the Warrior (Mathias and Mattimeo for that matter), etc. A kid needs an over-the-top hero to cheer for, and it helps if they are of a like age-group. This is most likely why so many of the younger authors fall into the Mary Sue pit-trap. Eragon being a perfect example of a young person Gary Stuing all over their book.

        To a certain extent, too, when you pick up a story you have to expect to read about a Gary Stu/Mary Sue at some level. Average people are far less interesting than those who are in some way (or many ways) special. That’s the thing that really is not touched much. I would bet that you could put any number of main characters through the test and have them score rather high. Hell, even Thomas Covenant scores above a 30.

        That appears to be the main failing of the test: it does not have enough questions that pertain to character depth that may quantify or offset those that are a Sue at first blush. But they do own up to that failing on the score page. The flaw is understandable too, a deep character is not easily quantified while a Mary Sue holds more true to a narrow set of criteria.

  6. Kate says:

    I honestly doubt a truer analysis of the Mary-Sueage in YA fiction has been written.

  7. TacoMagic says:

    It should be noted that I loved many Mary Sue characters when I was a young-en myself. Many of which I can’t stand now.

    Wesley Crusher being a perfect example. He seemed so awesome back in the day. Now watching the series again, he irritates the living crap out of me. I feel shame that I ever thought that Wesley was a good character, but I understand why I thought that he was so great.

    • Kate says:

      There was a point in my childhood where I was fairly obsessed with Star Trek, and my father used to refer to me as “Ensign Crusher” in an insulting tone. I couldn’t understand how that was an insult then…now I do.

  8. […] gonna have to thank kate for all the information regarding mary-sues. ugh i’m just so irritated with high school girls […]

  9. alabasterlily says:

    I did Edward, and his score was 105. No kidding.

  10. maya says:

    Edward’s score is 159… I shit you not 159

  11. Allegra diamond says:

    I took the test for Edward and got 162… Im not even kidding!

  12. DJ P0N-3 says:

    For me, Bella did 72… Far-fetched Sue, girl. Seriously, far-fetched.

  13. Pixie says:

    I looked at the link for what happened to Lauren’s hair and I read some of the other questions as well. One asks why Alice’s and Jasper’s powers can affect Bella, but not Edward’s, Jane’s, or Aro’s. Meyers says that Edward’s, Jane’s, and Aro’s powers affect the mind whereas Alice’s and Jasper’s do not. She then says that Jasper’s power affects the body, like in endorphins and shit… Endorphins are in the brain!!! Does she even listen to her own explanations? Unless she is differentiating between the mind and brain. I like to think she’s just an idiot though.

  14. Sara says:

    this is possibly my favorite thing on the internet ever, and it’s pretty much right (on harry as well, I’ve never been fond of him although i love the books overall)

  15. yo says:

    Actually Smeyer gave justifications as to why Perfect Boy Edward was attracted to Bella (the fact he couldn’t read her mind and her blood) He didnt show much interest in her besides that in Midnight Sun. You have to give her that. She also said boys were attracted to Bella because she was the new girl and they were tired of the same girls or something like that.
    Bella doesn’t have an angsty childhood. just a regular “loner kid” childhood.
    Complaining that boys like her comes off as being bitter of popular girls when in real life, there ARE a lot of unremarkable girls with a ton of suitors (for some odd reason no one comprehends). Just like when a shy girl is accepted in a popularity circle. It has happened. Or my best friend in 6th grade was a shy, serious, wimpy girl and for some reason all the girls were vying for her friendship (and I felt so proud she had picked me as her best friend). And also Bella is supposed to be kind of a live your own adventure romance for the teenage girls, so she isn’t really a “Mary Sue.” She’s an escapist character for the reader.
    I would say Nessie is more the Mary Sue

    • yo says:

      and why do people take such offense on “you’re beautiful but you don’t realize it” thing
      i’ve been told this as well
      by my relatives, my therapists, doctors, girl friends and guys.
      theres even the what makes you beautiful song by the 1d dudes. it’s something that happens a lot in real life.
      are people who take offense on this, ugly girls who were never told “you’re pretty but dont realize it” or beautiful and totally self confident girls (because totally confident teenage girls exist) who think they’re hot stuff and roll their eyes at the idea of being insecure of your looks?

    • Dawn says:

      We know about those justifications. But do you realize how plain those conditions are for a person to actually fall in TRUE LOVE with Bella ? That too, for a 108-year old vampire who has NEVER found anyone else attractive enough. The conditions are enough to pique Edward’s towards Bella, but definitely not enough to create a strong mental bridge like LOVE. There is just nothing to connect the two, except a few books, and they both have completely different opinions towards the characters of those books. Things that may have made Edward to truly fall in love with Bella are never discussed. That’s what pisses me about the book, the amount of wasted potential. This book could easily have been about the dark romance of a guilty vampire coming to terms with his repentance through his bond to an introverted girl and their individual struggle to survive. ( Example : ‘ Let the right one in’, where it’s evident that the bond between the vampire and the little boy is one of healing and friendship from isolation they both suffer. In this book, their bond is simple and easy to understand and lacks romantic cliche’s. They have both been through similar hardships and, hence, form a symbiotic bond, healing each other in the process. ) A ‘vampire’ could have been a metaphor for unwilling guilt or crime instead of ‘virginity’. ( Edward does have a period of guilt but he and Bella never ‘heal’ each other. Bella’s character is the same from the beginning to the end of the franchise. )

      Also, do you think that the interest of the other classmates would have stayed for so long if Bella really was a plain, boring person ? But, no, they hang around her and completely adore her. Those who don’t ( Jessica and Lauren ) are shown to be ‘shallow bitches’ instead of just being indifferent and uninterested in Bella. It’s just way too hard to believe that the simple act of ‘being a novelty’ is enough to win the adoration of the popular group of your class for an entire year.

      Also, the execution of these plot-points is bad enough to make us incredulous at it. Had it been good writing, the points that you made would have been very obvious, and the author need not have made a justification on them. The romance fails because of this very reason.

      About the trope ‘beautiful but can’t realize it’, I agree that it happens in real life. But the problem occurs through the execution. Instead of making it a normal insecurity, Meyer uses it show how ‘ultra special’ and ‘unselfish’ Bella really is by making her value herself less and less. The beauty factor could have been used wonderfully to show character development : how Bella struggles with her insecurity and finally learns to accept and value herself for what she is ( Kizzy in ‘Lips Touch’ ). She doesn’t feel a sense of achievement when Alice helps her dress up ( Example : Carrie ) neither does she come to accept her personality and decides that it’s not her beauty she should be concerned about ( Example : Hermione ). She just mopes around for being unattractive throughout the book, never taking pride in what she is. And, worst of all, she needs to become a vampire to actually value herself. She couldn’t just give two cents about what she is truly is. That’s the worst form of inferiority complex. Even plain girls ( I’m sorry, I refuse to use the word ‘ugly’ ) learn ways to make themselves attractive – either through make-up or by using their smile or personality, or identifying things in themselves that makes them special. But Bella does none of this and complains about being not being a vampire.

      TL;DR : THE EXECUTION IS BAD.

      PS : Sorry for the long rant.

      • Dawn says:

        PPS: If ‘being a novelty’ was so good, why aren’t the Cullens given half the attention Bella is normally given ? They were pretty ‘new’ too, and compared to Bella, they were beautiful, rich, they came from an unusual background, it’s obvious that they’ve been outside the city before and may have some pretty cool experience. It’s the kids like the Cullens to whom usual teenagers drift towards in a high-school. And they weren’t even half as weird. It turns out that after Bella introduces Edward and Alice to the other kids, they become extremely friendly with the aforementioned Cullens. Besides, Mike tells Bella on the first day that Edward is generally extremely polite, so the Cullens couldn’t have been THAT intimidating.

        Loner kid syndrome ? Loner kids tend to find hobbies that interest them to lift off the loneliness. That’s how the ‘nerds’ came about. Bella is none of that. Also, loner kids tend to complain way less. They realize how ‘less’ they are needed and learn to fade into the background, while learning to create a world of their own. They simply grow indifferent to usual teenagers. Bella is not indifferent, she is proud and hostile. She looks down upon the people who really crave her attention and whines about it. A ‘loner kid’ would have felt gratified and awkward, and would have tried to please the others as much as possible, or at least been honest to them. ( Example : ‘Perks of being a wall-flower’ , ‘Carrie’, ‘IT’, Neville in Harry Potter, Harry Potter in the first book, Oskar in ‘Let the right one in’ ) Bella’s attitude is more akin to the ‘popular girl’ forced to go to a small high-school.

        Again, blame the execution and Meyer’s failure to understand simple psychology.

  16. vistheinvisibleforce says:

    Ah, took this for Bella and, I bullshit you not, I ended up with a 161. I swear to Bob I have never had to check more boxes on that test.

  17. Azariah says:

    I did a test for the main character of my WIP novel and got a 16.5 😀

    But good lord! 94!?

  18. erttheking says:

    Took the test for one of my OCs. Got an 11. Not gonna lie, that’s pretty comforting.

  19. Anna says:

    Hmmm I am not sure how some of these apply to the mary-sueness I mean like about relationships well most characters in a story are going to be in a relationship and may get married and have kids so does that count against or for mary-sueness? I mean like some-one said you don’t know want to read about an AVERAGE character lol so they need to to be good at some things…But being good at ANYTHING gives you points on the test…

    Lets see who really wants to read about about a ugly chick with no physical skill, not very bright, no talents, no special abilities or magic powers or anything that…Her parents are no-bodies, she is practically invisible because apperently being in any sort of “group” is being in a “clique” and is too “mary-sue” so she has no friends she can’t make any significant contribution to society because she is a woman and may be a minority she has had no trauma in her past what-so-ever she needs to struggle through apprently she can’t dress in a manner I find cool so she must dress in a burlap sack(or is that to cliche?) she can’t be in a committed relationship so she must be either asexual(which I wouldn’t mind) or a total slut…Again on the interests she can’t have anyhting in common with author yet cannot have any interests, hobbies,skill or quirks the author wishes THEY have…They cannot have the same beliefs then you but they cannot have complete opposite beliefs then you…apprently they can’t angst about well anything because thats Mary Sueish as well…

    So um WHAT can your character do? *sigh* This test is a bit harsh I think lol…

    • DawnFire says:

      Technically, your character can be any of those things. The creators of the test even say that these are symptoms, not a surefire way to tell if a character is a Mary-Sue. However, as has been mentioned by a previous reviewer, the problem lies in the execution. If your character is gorgeous, athletic, talented, a witch, the most popular girl in school, and isn’t held back by her position in society…well, a large number of readers would prefer that she had some depth to her. Because yes, there are people like that in real life (well, if you take out the bit about magical powers), but if the fictional version doesn’t have to face any real conflict, doesn’t have any quirks, or problems, or flaws, doesn’t ever worry about keeping her position as popular…she becomes flat, and (to most readers) rather uninteresting, and that’s when people will start labeling her as a Mary-Sue.

      Not so long ago, I saw someone mention that Katniss (of Hunger Games fame) was a bit Sue-ish, but the books were still a good read. I just finished reading Mockingjay, and honestly, if you want to read about a well-balanced character who has her beautiful moments, physical skill, talent, friends, relationships, and occasionally serves as the author’s mouth-piece (although Prim certainly makes an appearance as Miss Plot Exposition, likable though she is), I’d recommend the series. I mean, there are points where I genuinely dislike Katniss. There are times when I disagree with what she’s doing or saying or thinking. But she doesn’t contradict her character. She’s aware that she has flaws. She’s aware, and *admits*, that she can be manipulative, even cruel, and she definitely has times when she faces the fact that she can’t do something, or that she hasn’t got what it takes. But, on the other hand, she has wonderful moments. She has moments that made me cry, she has moments that make me want to hug her, she has moments that make me cheer and grin, and moments that have me desperately hoping that she’ll be alright. Because that’s just it: I actually care about her. Bella? I…honestly don’t. Not really. Just in that general ‘oh, a person. No, stay safe’ sort of way. Because Kate’s right: she doesn’t have depth, she doesn’t have much personality, she’s inconsistent, and…well, I’ll leave it at that, because I’d just end up paraphrasing most of what Kate’s written in this blog. Believe me, I had my couple of months (approximately) during which I liked Twilight. Then, I took a step back, and the lack of plot got to me. I think it was also the lack of character depth and development. I mean, I can find a few good characters in it, and I will freely admit that Meyer is a good enough writer to keep you reading (actually, I’m reconsidering that a little after wading through those quotes. Maybe I was skipping over the excessive adjectives when I originally read the series…) If she ever writes a book with both a good plot and a completely (or nearly) good cast of characters, I will cheerfully read it. But until then, mocking and analyzing Twilight is awesome and fun.

      And yes, I do realize that I just wrote a long defense/analysis of Katniss in the comments of a blog about Twilight. Um, it was to prove a point? 🙂 Heh… *backs away cautiously*

      ~DF

  20. Nashif says:

    without flaws 17 with flaws 6

  21. bronte says:

    I did the test for my OC, Rachel, and got 18 🙂 Stephenie Meyer makes me feel like such a talented author!

  22. Sasha says:

    I wouldn’t really take Mary Sue tests seriously because I think for an actual Mary Sue to be identified you sort of have to…discuss the topic with say, an editor? A professional writer? A good reader?

    Not that I like the Twilight series much but I always perceived Bella to be more of an…anti-sue than a Mary Sue (until Breaking Dawn I guess). I mean, she’s unsociable, unintelligent, has no strength/powers, has no dream/ambition other than to get with Edward, has no personality…etc. Sure she gets saved by Ed a lot, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s a weak-minded, powerless little teenage girl. She has a lot of Mary Sue traits but generally the character herself feels very anti-sue. I mean at least Mary Sue characters sometimes evoke some kind of childish envy or at least some desire to possess that Mary Sue’s powers from me–but when I read about Bella Swan, I feel like she’s seriously as plain as cardboard sandwiched with bread and I have no desire whatsoever to be in her shoes–ESPECIALLY when she’s surrounded by vampires who want to suck the living lights outta her and werewolves. (That was a long sentence).

    • Sasha says:

      PS when I say “discuss” the topic or character with someone I wouldn’t go with someone like say Meyer’s editor. Yeah.

  23. Down The Plot Hole says:

    That was amazing and hilariously funny. I spent 2 years doing research on MarySueIsm. Though the Mary Sue Litmus Test gets a lot of critism, I find it very accurate. By the way, I think, excusing the creation of a Sue with being “unexperienced in writing” ridiculous.

    • Alison says:

      The test is accurate in that it mentions many qualities that are cliche to Mary Sue’s, but I find a lot of well written characters also test badly when answered for fairly in this test. My least sue character is a giant reptile creature who is not pretty even for her kind, not exceptionally smart even by her species standards and borderline retarded by human standards, and flies into rages where she harms people who don’t really deserve it. Yet because she has a somewhat nasty past (not to give her an excuse but to explain her personality) she shows as a way more Mary sue than she deserves to…which I think is silly. She has flaws… many of them… She isn’t seen by people as lovable and cute but disturbing and wierd. She doesn’t understand basic human etiquette and she does some really rude, gross things that aren’t always justified. I feel like this test doesn’t take into account the way you are using some of these traits and therefore cant be entirely accurate.

  24. Alison says:

    I don’t think twilight is a very good book and Bella is definitley a Mary sue but I think some of these may have been answered a bit unfairly… Objectively her sueness is annoying but you make it sound ten times worse.

  25. aprilkitties says:

    I would’ve expected her to score 71 or more…

    I only know her character in the movies, but what a selfish little brat… While people are dying out there to save her ass, she thinks it’s a good idea to jump of a cliff to get loverboy back.

    And why the hell does she look like she’s on drugs all the time, it’s not just the pale face or circles around the eyes, but she looks tired, displeased and nervous almost all the time. Even the vampire chicks look more alive than she is.

    That being said. I think the story has potential if written by a mature person, if I didn’t know any better I’d say it’s a fanfic written by a 13 year old.

    But I do admit this is only based on what I saw in the movies, hope the books are better,

  26. Eclipse says:

    DOBBY IS FREE!!!!!!!!!!!

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